Love Songs of the Home School Proselyte

“Don't you love New York in the fall? 

It makes me wanna buy school supplies.

 I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils

 if I knew your name and address.” 

– Joe Fox, You've Got Mail

How does it happen, this school-time magic? Just a few weeks ago, we were feverishly counting the days until it would all be OVER, and now the air is filled the smell of new backpacks, sharpened pencils and scotch tape. It may be a little bit of the learning-geek in me, or just the beckoning of the books that are already unpacked and waiting on the shelves, but I am getting pretty excited about this coming school year.  

Because we home-school, and this is our story.

Before I start, I feel compelled to say that this is not an anti-public school post in any way. I don't have anything against public school or private school. Well, let me take that back. I have lots of opinions about lots (and lots and lots) of things, including some excessive baggage about insular homeschooling, but I am not a gentle ranter, so I am not even going to venture into that territory. For a well-balanced view on the other side of the public school/homeschool decision, see this great post by my smart and beautiful friend.

How we got started:

(this is long-ish – if you want to skip to the 'now' in the story, scrollllll down)

In 2007, I had a 5-year-old, a 4-year-old, a 1-year-old, had just quit my job and found out that I was (surprise!) pregnant. The pregnancy, as most of you know, had its own surprise waiting, but I didn't know that yet. So picture that woman with me: three little ones, finally able to quit her job to stay at home with her littles, idealistic, hopeful, and scared of doing the 'wrong thing'. 


(I have since found that the fear of doing the 'wrong thing' is often camouflage for lack of courage for doing the hard thing.)


 Since I had just quit my job in order to stay home, we didn't have the money to send Ellie to private school without me going back to work, and putting the younger ones in daycare. I didn't want to do it, so now the options were down to homeschooling and public school. I was filling out Ellie's public school paperwork when two things transpired: I found out that our little, bitty Mayberry-esque elementary school was too full and she would be shipped to the bigger school farther away, riding with middle school students (young mom says ACK!); and Will, who had just turned four, was reading and writing fluently, and wanted to start kindergarten. I was overcome with the decision. Paranoid, paralyzed with inadequacy, pickled in selfishness (what about Me?) and not sure I wanted to venture into the world of homeschooling that I inaccurately saw as being awash with rigidity, white tube socks and denim jumpers (refer to copious amounts of baggage above). I had been homeschooled and loved it, but I am bit of an loner – when I was in high school, I did much of my studies myself, reading 300+ books a year, taking classes at Penn State in the evenings and going to the nursing home to sit in the room of a World War II nurse while she told me racy stories about her wartime adventures. Was homeschooling for everyone, or just strange-child Me? I wasn't sure.

Around that time, I found out about Sonlight curriculum. The first thing I saw on their site was a list of reasons not to buy their curriculum. (I already had a hefty list of my own things I wanted to avoid: America-centrism; too much busywork v. actual learning; memorization v. critical thinking; legalism masquerading as discipleship. But I read on cautiously.)

Here were a few of the reasons people should not to buy Sonlight (complete list here)

-They don't want to do a lot of reading

-They prefer classroom-style study with lots of quizzes, tests and grades.

-They want to guard their children from anything offensive—at all costs. Rather than exploring and learning what you believe – avoid conflict!

- They want most school years to focus primarily on U.S. history and culture.

-They want to present all content and history as absolute truth, without question or doubt.

Oh my goodness, my jaded heart cracked open. A curriculum that loved education, explored conflict, eschewed America-centrism and promoted Christ-following through loving God with all your heart, soul and MIND? Sign me up! I was hooked. Now I just had to fit myself and my two little learners into the equation. And that was the hard part. I ordered the kindergarten package, and when it came in the mail, I was sick in my stomach.

The first day of school, I met with a few moms for breakfast. They were teary-eyed that they had just put their babies on the school bus; I was tear-eyed that I had not. Was it going to work? More importantly, was it worth it? Every choice we make has a benefit and a sacrifice. I already knew the sacrifice as I cut up cinnamon buns and cleaned spilled milk off the floor of the diner while retirees asked my kids why they weren't in school. But how measurable was the benefit? I did the first day, and the second, and the third. I made a secret vow that if I didn't like it, I wouldn't do it the next year. And, as an escape hatch, I also promised that once the youngest was in school, I was going back to work and putting the whole tribe into school. So there.

Today

That was in 2007. This, the 2012-13 school year is (what!?) my sixth year of teaching. I remembered this year about my whispered pledge of sending them all away to school while I sat in some mythical office in new clothes, typing on a shiny computer. When I told the kids of my escape-hatch pledge I had made so long ago, Ellie said, “Mom, are you serious?” 


No, I don't think I am anymore. Thankfully, the time since then has sanded me down a little, making this version of me a bit more laid-back, more journey-loving. I still don't know what next year holds, or high school, but who really does?

Since I am a list-maker, let me tell you what I have grown to love about learning this way:

• Being able to find each child's learning style and use it to help them master learning.
• one-on-one coaching with each child in the subjects or areas in which they struggle
• cultivating the gift of independent learning – something they will use all their lives.
• seeing everything – vacations, field trips (heck, even Kung Fu Panda 2) – as learning opportunities
• deep friendships with peers who share their interests, sports, and activities. We have been blessed with some incredible homeschooling friends who are invaluable to my crew.
• helping them to learn to THINK – not memorize, regurgitate viewpoints, pass tests, consume, but actually THINK, debate, understand.
• Being able to have 'mid-course corrections'. A spelling program isn't working? Try another one. And another.
• Incredible education through classic literature and history – education that is not reliant on school boards, lack of funding, etc.
• Individually-paced learning.
• Keeping the childhood passion for learning and exploring alive and thriving.
• the 'colorblind'ness of my kids. I don't just mean with color, although that is true. They are 'ageblind', 'shapeblind', 'cliqueblind'. I joke that it is because they are so happy to see someone other than their family, but the truth of it is that they haven't learned the intricasies of recognizing 'not cool' people. Having spent my elementary school time as one of those 'not cool' kids, it is something I love to see.
• FIELD TRIPS! I love to road-trip, and I budget them relentlessly. This past year, we went to Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Philadelphia, Erie, Washington DC, New York City and Hershey Chocolate World. The kids say: “I can't wait to see where we are going next.” Yeah, guys, me neither.
• The adventure of learning that we are doing together as a family. I know this isn't exclusive to homeschooling. But I love it. Our curriculum walks through ancient civilizations in 1^st grade through modern history in 4^th grade. Do you know how many incredible books that is? Museums? Foods? Luke is starting 1^st grade this year, and I am excited to start it again.
• The flexibility! Ellie can take horseback riding lessons in the middle of the day; Will can focus on animation and piano, all while keeping up their schoolwork. They can work ahead in their studies, take more time to master something, research a tangent topic. Ellie took her books with her while she went fishing in Cape May for a week this spring.
• We can sleep in! There is no reason on this green earth why we need to get up at six when it takes ten minutes to eat and walk to the school room.
• I love to read with my kids. Exploring the world together. Watching their minds come to life when they learn something new.

Don't get me wrong – there is another list that grows by the end of the year with things like “They never leave! They are always HEEEEERE!”. But that list is shorter, and by this time of the year, it is crumbled up and thrown away and replaced with the new school boxes filled with scotch tape and sharpened pencils.

Here's to the learning that never stops, no matter how old we are. 


PS: If you are interested in the curriculum we use, here it is. Using this link will earn points for my account, and maybe even add a free book or two this year. Thanks!